Widely regarded as a science fiction movie milestone, "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" is a film I generally used to enjoy until I was struck with the realisation of what a really stupid film it is. I mean, stupid as in "bad stupid" rather than say "good stupid" (like "Meteor").

The actual plot, visual effects and acting are great, I'm a big fan of Doug Trumball's work (trivia note - his movie "Brainstorm" was Natalie Wood's last film) and there are some nice sequences that I enjoy greatly.

But.

But I think the biggest sticking point for me with the film is how totally evil these supposedly "benign" and "intelligent" aliens are supposed to be.

Where to start? Ok, for one thing they kidnap people! Old ladies, school kids, Flight 19, you name it, ET has whisked them away without a by-your-leave. And not only do they kidnap a small boy, they also terrorise his single mother in the process, bring toys to life, the washing machine to go ape-mental, screws to unscrew and generally wreck up the place for added fun. Cheese and crackers, what kind of "friendly" aliens act like that?!

(Note: the sequence did scare the braunviolet out of me as a kid, but then I assumed the aliens were evil!)

Secondly, they also cause power cuts - that's not very socially responsible is it? They also play a "funny" prank on Richard Dreyfuss at a crossroads (the lights coming up behind) before terrorising him and giving them some kind of radiation induced sunburn in the process. They also cause traffic accidents and don't pay state toll fares. THEY DON'T PAY STATE TOLL FARES.

They also drive Dreyfuss' character (Roy Neary) to the point of insanity, losing him his job and breaking up his family before they invite him to come aboard their spaceship - note they invite him, rather than just snatching him. The perps don't even have a consistent MO.

But hey, its OK because at the end of the film the aliens return the abductees - and that's what they are folks, people who have been forcibly taken away against their own will - who range from US Navy pilots and 1950s teenagers to old people, small toddlers to a dog. Yes, Scruffers has come back though his owner has porbably long grown old or passed on. And the whole thing is played out with a sense of awe and joy as the returnees (read VICTIMS) are ticked off the missing persons lists.

Sorry, rewind a little there, a sense of awe and joy?!

These people were abducted!! What happened to the families in the meantime? Grieving over loved ones who went missing, perhaps passing on not knowing what happened? Imagine seeing mom again only she's still 21 and you're now pushing 70! Sheesh! And yet everyone in the movie treats the return of these people as something wonderful and benevolent! Thank you ET, thank you for returning my daughter after 40 years, her father isn't around to see her, he topped himself in '58 unable to cope with the loss, but still, its nice of you to return her and oh, she hasn't aged a bit...

I wonder if Patty Hearst's kidnappers were ever treated with the same geniality? And surely these "intelligent" aliens must realise the anguish and suffering they have caused. And yet the whole thing is treated lightly, that these people are our "friends - eh?! Worse still, these aliens seem to have been doing this and the government knew all about it. They. Knew.

Then we come to perhaps the films dumbest piece of dumbery when its decided to clear a huge area around the Devils Tower in anticipation of ET putting in an appearance. Its not a bad idea except that ET's idea of discretion is to turn up in a spaceship the size of a small town and all lit up like a Christmas tree, making big farty sounds that break glass, not to mention all the other little Tinkerbell's zooming around. Now, with a media scrum surrounding the area given the "nerve gas" cover story, having ET lighting up the sky for tens of miles around might not go unnoticed.

And in one scene that does-not-make-sense, said large Christmas tree spaceship crests the Devils Tower and casts a shadow over the onlookers below. How?! Its taking place at night, the only source of ground illumination are spotlights that are about 20 feet off the ground and the mothership is pumping out enough ambient light to flood the ground, not cast a shadow! Jesus H!

And then we have the aliens themselves. Now, for a supposedly superior race that can build huge spaceships and travel billions and billion of miles, you'd think they'd make the hatch to their ship a bit bigger so that the chief alien (the one with the long legs and arms) doesn't have to get down on all fours in order to climb out. They can build a faster-than-light drive, but not a decent door way. I can only imagine they kidnapped a builder from England who promised to come round Monday to fix the door and never did.

At least you know where you are with the aliens in "ID4", "WotW" or even "Alien", they are evil and don't muck about letting us know that, whereas the ET's in "CE3K" seem to wrap their totally unacceptable terrorist behaviour up in some benevolent coating that mankind swallows - check out Lance Henrikson looking all doughy-eyed in one of the film's final pull-back shots. We need Frank Black's cynicism at that point! You want final proof? When the big alien stands before assembled crowd he gives a Hitler salute!



Heck, we even give these kidnapping, irradiating, house wrecking, family destroying ET terrorists more people for their troubles - sadly Spielberg never showed the smile on Neary's face dropping when he saw the probe machine heading towards his butt, or how his wife, reduced to a single mother on limited means, became hooked on painkillers and booze to numb a string of meaningless relationships while the kids end up in care and or prison, its only a matter of time and its all because daddy fruitloop would rather go live with the space aliens than his own family. Son of a b....

It could be argued that Spielberg's aliens are meant to be naive and childlike, that's why they look a little like Cary Guffy (the kid in the film), and that perhaps they don't realise the consequences of their actions. Maybe, but you'd hope that a race advanced enough to build flying chandeliers might show us apes a thing or two when it comes to emotional development and evolution. I can only imagine that on the way to earth, they were all saying "are we there yet? Tell him to sit on his side of the spaceship. I want an ice cream."

Sorry, but "CE3K" is just such a totally stupid film. "ID4" is a totally stupid film as well, but at least the aliens intentions are clear, we get cool dogfights between spaceships and aeroplanes and the film has no pretensions other than lots of spectacle. "CE3K" tries to present contact between us and 'friendly' aliens as being a really cool thing, but clearly these aliens are no more friendly than a shark with Hitler's brain, and you have to ask what do we get out of the relationship?

A huge ARP synthesiser.

We wanted a MOOG with Taurus pedals, dammit!